So as people lean towards making small talk, you know, the kind of 'how are you?' and 'what are you doing these days?' questions, where the responses are rarely of any interest to either themselves or to you, the bonus prize question that I seem to get asked all the time is "So why did you leave Homenetmen?" With a further twist to the saga, added today (13/02/02), I want to use this channel to help answer that 'question'. Print it out and bring it with you to Armenian functions, talk to it instead of me. I don't want anyone to ever speak to me about this again. I don't have the time, energy or patience anymore. If Homenetmen is the only thing we had in common then we have nothing in common any more.

London Homenetmen is corrupt and about nothing else but individuals and power. Their petty book of laws and rules bend when it suits this 'one big happy family.' The cases are numerous and humorous (not houmous!!). It is not the real world but peoples individual perceptions of what they would like reality to be. Like the Armenian community in London is a country and they rule it. Most of us get this satisfaction watching movies, fantasising in a daydream or simply playing Monopoly. People like Shiraz Vartanian think they're the Britney Spears of this world and that's what they feed off. When they step into the real world they become nobody.

Today my application to become a member of Homenetmen was rejected by a bunch of misfits on a fairground power ride that they will soon wake up from, fall off of or grow old in.

"Print this email and stick it in your Homenetmen archives in Lebanon." I feel so disgusted by being notified that I am "probably the first Armenian person ever to have an application rejected from Homenetmen" in London. Over the past few years I've been persecuted and made to feel like a criminal when all I have tried to do is the right thing.

The reasons for my rejection:
1 - I "had a bad payment record" - sorry but so does most of what's left of Homenetmen in this country.
2 - I "have been rumoured to still be playing for AGBU" - obviously!! How many footballers leave their club before joining a new one?
3 - My "loyalty can't be trusted" - Kevork 'the Camel' Ohanian, amongst others, have left, played for AGBU and rejoined Homenetmen before without fuss. Why am I any different?

I am very bitter but will be over it and past all of this very soon. I have the people at Homenetmen to thank for helping me become who I am today; you inspire me to become a better person. By seeing the wrong, I can choose the right.

I do however feel that I have to share this story with others.

One day in 1995 I walked into Hyashen with, I think, one other Homenetmen member as we heard there was an Armenian function for youth there that night. Being 19, sexually hungry and feeling mating season swiftly approaching, I naturally wanted to go and finally see what 'non-Homenetmen' chicks had to offer. Truthfully, I just wanted to see some bloody new faces, I knew there were some out there. They couldn't just be released for Christmas & Easter. But, the damn place was empty!! I think I played table tennis with a 12-year-old girl. She must've been going every week 'cause I learnt that you don't have to actually be taller than the table to be any good. Little did she know then what life she had been born into.

The following Sunday at Homenetmen Basketball practise I was pulled to the side by two respectable leaders, and I use the terms respectable and leaders both very very loosely, and given a swift but precise warning. "If you ever go to another function not organised by Homenetmen you will be thrown out IMMEDIATELY." This really stuck with me. I hadn't done anything bad or wrong. I just wanted to play basketball with my Armenian friends every week, cuss in Armenian, be where my hairy back was not a novelty and build those male bonding relationships my dad always tells me he had at Homenetmen in his scouting days in Cyprus. And I guess I wanted to be the next big Armenian basketball superstar one day too!! Besides from that, my family always taught me that I was Armenian before I was anything else. Clearly, I had become mixed up with a group of people who did not all share those beliefs.

Being honest with myself, I'd say that I wasn't attracted to any of the girls in Homenetmen at the time, well Nancy Henden when I was 14 but I don't think that counts. So I started to panic. "If I can't go to any non-Homenetmen functions, how am I to meet an Armenian girl that I can eventually settle down with?" I never realised at the time that we had Anet, Lynda and others ready to blossom. It's hard enough that I receive pressure from my parents to date an Armenian girl while attending an all-English education system. I guess it's not just that I wasn't attracted to the Homenetmen girls though. I also knew about the Yorkshire theory and feared it was repeating itself here within Homenetmen. There isn't much to do or talk about in Yorkshire, so relatives date each other and then swap partners. It's like everyone has been out with everyone at least once and eventually you will sleep with someone who has slept with someone who has slept with someone who has slept with your dad! I couldn't date anyone in Homenetmen even if I wanted to though due to the loyal 'friendship' commandment. 'Thou must not have relations with a girl which ones close friend, or relative of ones close friend, has had before.' I thought to myself "I'm screwed!"

I decided to form a neutral organisation, body, group... whatever you want to call it so that it doesn't carry any connotations. I would tell people that it was "a social platform to give ALL young Armenians the opportunity to make new friends with people of the same background and culture." In actual fact it was also for me to meet more Armenian girls, marriage material that wanted to talk about more than how they would die for their country. I wanted to give other youngsters an alternative to ACC where I made most of my Armenian friends. When I tried to start what soon became RBO (Red Blue Orange - chosen as it's colours are most neutrally related to all Armenians) with my closest friend Sako Seridarian, I realised that all my friends were in fact also from Homenetmen. Nevertheless, me, Sako, Rebecca Tchaparian, Shant & Shake Mejloumian and George 'one-brow' Panossian put on the first event, all funded by what little money I had at the time.

At church I only recognised Homenetmen faces and was very unsure as to how we'd be received when we tried to promote an unheard of Armenian event for the first time. The result was positive and the first ever RBO night, The Gathering, on January 11th 1996 was a great success. I have the pictures to prove it!! There were Armenians of all ages (over 16) and backgrounds, totalling over 100. A proud moment for myself. One which I only really felt was appreciated by Armen Ovanesoff and his cousin Stephan. They were always full of praise, even when they couldn't make it down on the night.

After another party, the pressures from Homenetmen obviously showed on the others as they pealed away one by one like the folk trying to hold on to the Titanic as it tipped in the movie. I continued on my own and began to build a database of Armenians in London. I remember printing and then cutting every single flyer, for the 2nd event, individually by myself. The 3rd event, I pulled off from my lonely room during my first year of university in Leicester. All this while still returning to London every weekend to play basketball for Homenetmen, and have my mum do my laundry of course!

In March 98, me and Harry (my brother) met the two nicest Armenian girls in London and began to build on RBO, now running it every month. Well, actually, I'm not sure if Harry shared that opinion of the two girls! This must have threatened Homenetmen as stories began to filter through to me from a number of people. Zorig Porig was telling the Homenetmen scouts (young kids who probably just want to enjoy their childhoods) that "you are stupid if you go to these RBO nights. Don't you see Ara is just making money from you all and laughing behind your backs!!" Now what a great leader he proved to be! Alec, your classic looking dictator, apparently also threatened people with dismissal should they be seen attending an RBO event. How petty?!? Other less influential members spread rumours of under age drinking being encouraged at RBOs. Which is worse, underage drinking or grown men acting underage? In a Homenetmen Scouts meeting of 'the leaders' a date was set for the next meeting that clashed with the next RBO night. Misak, a young Armenian friend from Australia, told me how he spoke out and suggested it be set the following day. This was greeted with "Fuck RBO!!" I say to these people "Don't live your anger through others. God will forgive you even if I wont."

It bothered me that my 'friends' from Homenetmen would not come to RBO but what bothered me more were the countless amusing lies which they were able to generate between them. I mean, how many birthdays can one person have each year? Friends like Taline Dadourian and Bedross M-something didn't have the face to ever tell me they were simply not allowed to come. They'd still smile, say hello and do the double kiss thing whenever we'd bump into each other on neutral ground. So on a night where hundreds (ok 174 was the max ever under my reign) of Armenians in London would meet to have fun, dance and exchange marriage proposals, there would be another group, my old friends, who would choose to stick to their strong beliefs of... err... not mixing with non-Homenetmen Armenians. I guess in a way it was to prevent anything from ever becoming more successful then Homenetmen in London and hence helping them to rule the world!! Or at the very least, Ealing Common!! Please. I'm told Heathrow T4, Little Italy and Tootsies all make great hideouts and meeting points for Armenians who find it hard to blend into society.

In 1999 Homenetmen Sports Committee (aka More Oddbins with Power) called me to have a meeting without telling me what it was about. 7 People sat in a room with me telling me that the rules written in 1918 state that you cannot be a member of Homenetmen and another organisation at the same time. NINETEEN EIGHTEEN man!! That's over 80 years ago. Even the bible has seen some alterations over the years. I spoke of there being a need for an Armenian rugby team in London and how RBO may one day start one. There response was that RBO would then become a sporting organisation and oppose Homenetmen. They ended up giving me the following ultimatum, "you have 4 choices, 1, you start to do RBO events as 'Homenetmen presents RBO', 2, You do RBO under the command of the church, 3, You hand over RBO to Homenetmen or 4, you run RBO entirely on your own so it is not an 'organisation'" there wasn't a 5th option. When I pushed for a fifth option they suggested only that "we'll have no other choice." I handed in my resignation the following day, as did my brother. There were no bad feelings on my behalf, but they rejected my resignation and tried to convince us to come back. We never did.

Still wanting to play basketball, we joined AGBU. Another group with some stale slices in it!! Armenians in London just have a hunger for power!! Why can't we be more like the Arabs and hunger for kebabs, money and wives? Anyway, another big disappointment was to see that the only time people came to support AGBU was when they played against Homenetmen. It became obvious that AGBU & Homenetmen in this country had a rather sick competition taking place, and we were just irrelevant pieces. Our future is of no importance to either of them.

But then came Hokis the album and the ass-licking was on. The worst case having to be when Shant Mejloumian heard that we were doing the album and pleaded to be on it, announcing to me "I've got a great voice! Please let me sing on the album." Well where were you when I needed you chum? Little Italy? Or forcing yourself on more Armenian girls who just couldn't resist your good looks? Bedross 'the bear' (obviously not named after the big strong kind!) once gave orders to the scouts to remove and bin all Hokis flyers as we tried to promote our new CD to the scouts. A harsh contrast to the help we received from individuals who had never even met us before in places like LA and Amsterdam.

We made the album with all the time, money and contacts we had access to. Certain it was going to be a great success, we only sold about 4000 copies. We were broke and owed people money. However, I learnt a hell of a lot and travelled more then I learned. In Argentina, Homenetmen, AGBU, the church and Armenian school are all on one street, Armenia Street. They all share facilities and friendships. At the AGBU dinner & dance (attended by approx. 1000 Armenians from around the world) the leaders, real leaders, said, translated by Sako to me from 'Argentinean Armenian' to 'Armenian I could understand' as "we would also like to welcome our brothers from Homenetmen here tonight. We want you to know that our home is your home." That touched me so much. Now if that were in London it would be more like a scene from Braveheart.

Then there was the Independent Armenian sports tournament in Nice, France. They invited ALL to attend, extending their hand to both AGBUs and Homenetmens in Europe. AGBU put a team together and we went, offering Homenetmen to put a joint team in as we only had 5 players. Homenetmen London was not allowed to go. As was the case repeated for the Armenian Olympics in Armenia. At the games in Nice we were heavily questioned about the whereabouts of Homenetmen London. Other countries had sent both sides. It was embarrassing to be from London.

Back home it amused me to see some old Homenetmen friends come to the studio while we were making the album. Many of them uncontrollably wept to the lyrics of Genocide and yet failed to show their support in front of others or even part with £10 to buy a copy. There's a whole lot of principal bouncing around and not enough sense. During the Hokis album experience, the only things that shined in London for me, along with the core Hokis crew, were the Armenian Institute, the All New Surpazan and Kevork Kapikyan (aka Kev Orkian). These are the people who give me confidence in Armenians here and truly inspire me to become someone.

While I worked on Hokis, travelling, putting on live shows, being nominated for 3 awards at the Armenian Music Awards in LA and making friends all over the world, I pulled away from AGBU for a period. When we realised that doing business with Armenians was at the opposite end of lucrative on the 'making money' chart, we pulled the plug on Hokis. I also resigned from RBO, knowing it didn't need me anymore, thinking that I would be able to maybe return to Homenetmen to play basketball with my friends. I think I have more chance of playing for the Lakers!

A few weeks ago there was a Homenetmen event for youngsters. Some scouts actually took the initiative, which I applaud, to remove the 'Homenetmen' title from the flyers in an attempt to get more people to come. I encouraged people who asked me about the event to go because it was Armenian and to not ask any further questions. It was a great success. However, there was an air of discomfort due to the 100 Homenetmen 'Bad Ass Gadous' dolls with clipboards, hired to stand around the edges and make sure no-one kisses. The same faces that would never step foot into an RBO event were suddenly Armenian and giving me double-kisses! Oh it creates a horrible atmosphere... I'm definitely not living my life amongst these puppets.

Which brings me to today. Bar the few lines that follow, I want to close by saying that there are indeed two sides to every story. This is the truth as I lived it. I am proud to be an Armenian.

To all my friends still locked in... I would've put up a fight for any one of you guys!! The likes of Homenetmen and AGBU are just organisations. When you break it down, there are two fat sweaty blokes who like to sit behind a desk, play God and pass judgement. An organisation only exists because of its members. London is going to have to increase its Yorkshire theory rate if any organisations are to survive here.

The same way I started up a better, more efficient, more enjoyable social platform for young Armenians here, I may one day choose to do with an Armenian Basketball club, then a school and maybe even a scouting group. Children like that table-tennis girl deserve better.

I'm confident this will be a chapter in my autobiography someday.

Any questions will not be answered. Phone calls will be ignored. Confrontations will be walked away from.

FURTHER READING:
arajiggy.com
rbo.co.uk